I honestly don't know if I haven't blogged in so long due to how busy I have been with my recent life changes... or if my last post just caused so much controversy that I've been putting my writing on the back burner.
I just wanted to let my readers know that I have been working on my story... but I am carefully reviewing my chapters and whatnot before I post them.
However, I wanted to send an update to everyone... and let you all know that I haven't forgotten about writing. Because I haven't. I think I've just been suffering from the good ol' discouragement syndrome. Or something. So. In the past two months....
In the past almost 2 months..... I worked my ass off. I was trying not to focus on the importance of money, but rather the affect that I can and had on the residents I was working with. I cared so much about the progress they were making in their daily lives that I forgot to say goodbye to some of my closest friends... and that... I will forever kick myself in the ass for. Literally. I don't know why I get so wrapped up in my work. Because.. it has nothing to do with money for me. Sometimes I wish I cared more about working for money because then I wouldn't be sitting where I am at right now. Broke. Of course. I just like what I do. And when I am feeling down... that is what picks me up again.
In the past 2 months... I have done some stupid things. I have done some exciting things. I suffered from a small case of cold feet in between Washington and Africa... like a completely normal person. I would say at least. I took my braids out... which I miss more than anything right now. I still have not used a blow dryer. I rarely do my hair. And I don't know if it's out of laziness or the fact that I just don't necessarily care about the maintenance it takes. Then.... Chris and I made our big move across the country. It was probably one of the best and funniest times of my life. We moved... with no plans of housing... no secured jobs. We just went. And that... I will never regret. Even though we had to sleep in our Element a couple of times... take sink baths at the 7 eleven down the street... and stink for almost a week straight... it has become a story that I can't wait to tell my kids one day.
We finally landed an apartment. It's nice. Small. Cozy. And decorated a little weird. I guess ya can't really expect anything else out of us. However.... on the downside... we are both still jobless.
I had a great interview with a pretty promising job over in Naselle, WA. It would have been an amazing job. My dream job. Working with adolescents in a juvenile setting. However... when so many things seem to go right... something negative usually follows. Naselle is about 2 hours away from our picked destination in Vancouver, WA. And literally is a 'butthole' town. It's about a half hour away from the closest grocery store... and that made finding a job pretty difficult for Chris. So, I decided not to take it.
So now... we are job searching. I have had a couple interests, and so has Chris. There is a lot of job opportunity for both of our fields however, there is a lot more competition here verses back home. I'm not the only 'weird' person within a 50 mile radius anymore. Everywhere I turn around there are goofy looking people. However, they all inspire me. It makes me happy to know that the people out here could give a rat's ass about who is and who is not judging them. I guess my confidence has boosted in that way.
It would be nice to nail a job sometime soon though. I am starting to go a little stir crazy. I'm not sure what my next step is going to be... considering how broke I am. I keep having waves of failure surpass my mind... I can accept failure. Everyone fails at something in their lives. However, what I can't accept is not trying. I have been trying. I will keep trying. Failure is not an option. Because I'm not going back home. I came out here to DO WHAT I WANT TO DO AND I AM GOING TO DO WHATEVER IT GOD DAMN TAKES TO DO IT. and that's that.
The End. For now. :)
