Step 1. Finding a job.

         

          Well... here it is.  My new blog.  For those of you that have followed me and my journey half way around the world, here is the introduction to the next step in my life.

          I have adjusted fairly well now.  I have seen most of my family, and it feels nice to know how much I was missed.  I think the time apart has drawn me closer with the rest of my family.  Today, I finally drove back up north, to my home on the lake.  It's nice being home, but it's hard to face the reality that I am moving across the country soon... and my room, garage... I don't know how I've accumulated so much stuff.

         On the drive today I daydreamed.  I didn't have the luxury to listen to my ipod, or talk on the phone... and the radio stations driving through the northwoods is somewhat comparable to listening to a scanner.  I guess I'm still stuck in Africa-time. So, I turned my radio off and thought about the next step in my life.  What do I want to do with my life?  Now that I am back to the real world, officially broke... I have some things to figure out, financially.  I have been applying to jobs out west like nobody's business.  As exciting as it is, the jobs haven't excited me like I thought they would.  Don't get me wrong, there are some that I REALLY look forward to hearing from... but I came to the conclusion that I was applying to most of them for the wrong reasons.  Of course I need a job... I need to make a living.  But I need to be happy while I'm doing that, and working at a job just to make money, is not for me.  I love to work.  I love to make people happy.  But I want to be happy too.  It isn't just about money for me. The last 7 years I have slaved myself to working... working 2, 3..sometimes 4 jobs just to make it by.  Sometimes working over 40 hours on top of going to school.  And I liked it.  I liked staying busy... because then, I didn't have to face the real world like I do now.  Now, now that I have experienced the world... different cultures.. different lifestyles... I have opened my eyes to a new vision of life.  How I want to live. How I want spend my days making a living and most importantly, being happy.  My dad used to tell me when I was younger, "find something you love to do, and you will never have to work a day in your life." -- Well, easier said than done.  For most people anyway.

       But.... I have found something that I love to do.  I know what makes me truly happy.  And that's helping people.  My ultimate dream, is to own my own business.  A non-profit business to be exact.  I want to be able to teach people Art, in a more therapeutic way.  And not just people.  People that need it.  Children that need it. People that can't afford it on their own. To the disabled, to the at risk teens who can't decide between drugs and crime... to the mentally ill.  To the sick.  I want to teach them all.  I want to help them all. I want to have my own studio, my own space... and teach classes.  Because that's what makes me happy.  Like I have said before, when people tell you that you make a difference, and a simple thank you... is the best high one could ask for.

      I know this is a far stretch, and it might take a while to get it going.  But one day, it will happen.  I tried to talk myself out of it, that I'm not qualified enough to start my own business... but then, like a ton of bricks, it hit me.  Who am I trying to kid?  Myself?  I flew to Africa.. by myself.  I started an Art Therapy program at not 1, but 2 different companies.  Sometimes I need to be more confident in myself... because I CAN do it.  And I WILL.  It may not happy right away, but it will happen.